BYE! (Picture: Getty)
The first day of reception, when a fresh group of bright young minds get their first look at the educational system.
Whilst the children are strutting proudly in their uniforms, we mums are sobbing into used tissues we found in the bottom of our handbags.
Whether your child is starting primary school this year or you’re a seasoned pro, here are eight mums you’re likely to meet at the school gates.
1. Crafty Mum
Someone’s been spending too much time on Pinterest, and the ice lolly stick pencil case is your first clue as to who. This mum has Hobbycraft on speed-dial and is packing heat…literally. If you cross her path, don’t be surprised when you find yourself hot glued to the seat in the head teacher’s office.
2. Co-dependent Mum
Is her son trying to crawl back into the womb or is she trying to push him up in there? With this mother and child the only thing that is certain is that you’ll need a garden hose to pry them apart.
The first day of reception, when a fresh group of bright young minds get their first look at the educational system.
Whilst the children are strutting proudly in their uniforms, we mums are sobbing into used tissues we found in the bottom of our handbags.
Whether your child is starting primary school this year or you’re a seasoned pro, here are eight mums you’re likely to meet at the school gates.
1. Crafty Mum
Someone’s been spending too much time on Pinterest, and the ice lolly stick pencil case is your first clue as to who. This mum has Hobbycraft on speed-dial and is packing heat…literally. If you cross her path, don’t be surprised when you find yourself hot glued to the seat in the head teacher’s office.
2. Co-dependent Mum
Is her son trying to crawl back into the womb or is she trying to push him up in there? With this mother and child the only thing that is certain is that you’ll need a garden hose to pry them apart.
(Picture: Getty)
3. Boho Mum
Little Moonlight Sparkle forgot her lunch, but not to worry because Boho Mum is here. If you missed a glimpse of the homemade hemp lunchbox and kale chips, just follow the quinoa trail until you get to her.
4. Nanny Mum
Why suffer through the agony of the first day drop-off when you can pay someone else to do it for you?
5. Alphabetised Mum
Lord help you if you put a colour back in the wrong order, because this mum will smack the Roy G. Biv right out of you. From wickedly sharp pencils (all the exact same height!) to an Instagram-worthy lunch so delicious it would make Nigella Lawson weep with joy, this mum’s clipboard checklist will knock the chaos right out of you.
6. Stone-cold Mum
Any emotions this mum might be feeling have been walled off behind a Madame Tussaud-worthy wax façade. You might think she has it all together, but if you follow her out to the carpark, don’t be surprised if you find her rocking in the foetal position crying her eyes out.
3. Boho Mum
Little Moonlight Sparkle forgot her lunch, but not to worry because Boho Mum is here. If you missed a glimpse of the homemade hemp lunchbox and kale chips, just follow the quinoa trail until you get to her.
4. Nanny Mum
Why suffer through the agony of the first day drop-off when you can pay someone else to do it for you?
5. Alphabetised Mum
Lord help you if you put a colour back in the wrong order, because this mum will smack the Roy G. Biv right out of you. From wickedly sharp pencils (all the exact same height!) to an Instagram-worthy lunch so delicious it would make Nigella Lawson weep with joy, this mum’s clipboard checklist will knock the chaos right out of you.
6. Stone-cold Mum
Any emotions this mum might be feeling have been walled off behind a Madame Tussaud-worthy wax façade. You might think she has it all together, but if you follow her out to the carpark, don’t be surprised if you find her rocking in the foetal position crying her eyes out.
(Picture: Getty)
7. Move it! Mum
She’s done this before and has the drill down. Backpack on peg, bottom in chair, a quick hug and she’s out the door. Don’t judge, she’s got at least two other children to get to class before her morning is done.
8. Celebratory Mum
This mum is so hard to see, you’ll almost convince yourself she’s fictional. That’s because she shoves her kid in the door and skedaddles back out again just as quickly as her Sweaty Betty legs will carry her. Your best chance of a sighting is outside as she tumbles her way to the sidewalk, screaming ‘FREEDOM!!’ before dashing off to the nearest mani/pedi shop.
When my youngest starts reception next week, I’ll most certainly be an #8. Which kind of mum will you be?
7. Move it! Mum
She’s done this before and has the drill down. Backpack on peg, bottom in chair, a quick hug and she’s out the door. Don’t judge, she’s got at least two other children to get to class before her morning is done.
8. Celebratory Mum
This mum is so hard to see, you’ll almost convince yourself she’s fictional. That’s because she shoves her kid in the door and skedaddles back out again just as quickly as her Sweaty Betty legs will carry her. Your best chance of a sighting is outside as she tumbles her way to the sidewalk, screaming ‘FREEDOM!!’ before dashing off to the nearest mani/pedi shop.
When my youngest starts reception next week, I’ll most certainly be an #8. Which kind of mum will you be?
Metro UK
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