.post img { border:10px solid #191919; dotted:2px; } a:link{ colour brown } h2{ colour: brown;| }
  • Maiyegun's Diary

  • | Breaking News
  • | Sports
  • | Entertainments
  • | Politics
  • | Opinions |

Maiyegun General

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

21 Slightly Annoying Things America Gets Wrong About Football

And by football…we mean football.

America, we need to talk about football.

Scott Olson / Getty Images

You clearly have some of the greatest, maddest fans in the world.

Steve Dykes / Getty Images

“Did you bring your chainsaw this week, Bill?”

“Yeah, it’s in my bag, with the other dangerous weapons.”

But – and sorry about this – you’re just getting a few things very, very slightly wrong.

ESPN / Via youtube.com

Being British, usually we wouldn’t say anything. But if you’re going to be better than us at a sport that we invented, you might as well get it right.

Imgur / Via imgur.com

1. Firstly, it’s not the BPL…

Mike Hewitt / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

2. It’s also not called the EPL…

Mike Hewitt / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Excuse our French – we’re British.

3. You didn’t watch the “game” at the weekend,

Oli Scarff / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Children play games.

4. It’s not a “stadium”, or an “arena”, it’s a ground. It just is.

AFP / Yasuyoshi Chiba

5. And your “squad” didn’t win at the weekend,

Glyn Kirk / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

6. If you want to be even MORE correct, ask someone how their side got on at the weekend.

Martin Elliot / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Look how much fun it is to watch football in Britain.

7. Actually, fuck it, just ask them this exact phrase:

Ian Kington / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

8. You NEVER “hit a shot on frame”…

Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

9. It’s not “a good decision by the referee”, it’s a…

Scott Heavey / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Bloody great shout, ref.

10. The ref is still a wanker, obviously… but apparently you knew that already.

11. It’s never “zero–zero”, it’s “nil–nil”, and there’s nothing wrong with a hard-fought nil–nil with no shots on target.

Gary M.Prior / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

“What happened in the match?”

“Nothing whatsoever.”

“Sounds good.”

12. It’s not a “head-shot” it’s a header.

Getty Images / BuzzFeed

It just is.

13. And what the hell is the “Upper Ninety”…? THE UPPER NINETY?!

Chris Brunskill / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

“Top corner” is the phrase you are looking for.

14. It’s not the “goal frame”. Come on, this is so obvious and logical…

ThinkStock / BuzzFeed

15. Cleats? Nah… boots.

ThinkStock / BuzzFeed

16. It’s a kit, not a “uniform”. A uniform is when everyone wears the same thing, like in…

Stuart Macfarlane / Getty Images


17. But it’s DEFINITELY not a “field”. It’s a pitch. You know what lives on a field?

Thomas Trutschel / Photothek / Getty Images / BuzzFeed

Unlike cows, footballers don’t shit all over the pitch.

Well, actually, apart from that one time

18. Tim Howard isn’t a “goaltender”, he isn’t a “goalie”, he isn’t even really a “goalkeeper”. He’s just a…

Getty / BuzzFeed

19. And it’s not a “goalkeeper punt”, it’s just a “goal kick”, because you are kicking the ball in the opposite direction to the goal, get it?

Glyn Kirk / AFP / Getty Images


20. This is not a “wall pass”, it’s a “one-two”.


We’re inventive with our phrases.

21. And finally, it’s not “soccer”, it’s “football”. What kind of idiotic nation would invent a term like soccer…

Google Maps / BuzzFeed

Sorry, America.

Love from the UK.


No comments:

Post a Comment