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Tuesday, 18 August 2015

21 things you need to know before moving in with your boyfriend


They make it all look so easy… (Picture: monkeybusinessimages)

It’s August, that month when everyone’s tenancies run out and couples take the plunge.

Moving in with your boyfriend is really exciting.

You’ve made it through the hell that is flat hunting intact, you still like each other and have been planning which of your pictures is going in the living room for months.

But setting up a home with him is also terrifying.

It’s a big step, what if things don’t work out? What if you lose your job and can’t make rent?

What if he finds out about that weird thing you do in the bathroom and is grossed out?

If you’re about to collect the keys together, here’s 21 things you should know.

1. You are going to start with high minded ideals about equality, cleanliness and hygiene that were absent from your old place.

Surely all the dirty plates and gone off milk cartons in the fridge were your housemate’s, right?

2. But that won’t stop you letting him carry all the heavy stuff on moving day.

3. And somehow, despite your best intentions, he’ll still mostly ends up taking the bins out and you will often seem to be the one folding the washing.

4. You’ll do the IKEA shop that everyone talks about, and it really won’t be that bad.

But you will realise that neither of you has ever been without your parents, and you’re not really sure how it works. One of you will try and buy a display item.

You’re mostly there for the meatballs. 

You’ve brought many stolen pint glasses but still haven’t got a chest of drawers (Picture: Ximagination)

5. You’ll get most of your big furniture from Freecycle anyway.

Let’s face it, it’s mostly IKEA bookshelves from three years ago in any case.

6. And one month in you still won’t have found chairs or a bookcase you can agree on that suit your paltry budget.

When you are still sitting on the floor around the coffee table to eat dinner you’ll probably just settle for the first ones you see at the local market. At least you won’t have to carry them far.

7. There will be limited cupboard space in your bedroom. Shotgun two thirds of it early on.

He will have vastly underestimated the number of clothes you own.

8. Similarly, the number of toiletries you need on a daily basis will confuse him.

9. And now there is no-one else to blame you will have to take responsibility for the hair clogging up the shower.

Buy plug unblocker in your first big shop.

10. That thing about the kirby grips is true.

You won’t know how they got in the washing up, down the back of the sofa and on top of the fridge.

But those bobby pins are definitely yours.

11. He’s probably been hiding some weird ticks from you, but now they will come flooding out.

Eating Golden Nuggets out of the box while sitting on the sofa in his pants and watching nature documentaries?

Yeah, that’s your Sunday now. 

It’s mostly not like this (Picture: JackF)

12. But you’ll both probably start eating a bit healthier and cooking properly.

If only because it’s more cost effective to do a weekly shop and actually buy vegetables.

13. Whether you have a joint account, monthly standing order or a list of who owes what on the fridge, get your bills and rent sorted quickly.

It’ll save a hassle when one of you is short at the end of the month.

14. And work out whose job it is to get the internet hooked up straight away.

You’ll need it for everything else.

15. You’ll probably find yourself scolding him like a small child at some point for leaving the toilet seat up or not picking up his dirty socks.

Don’t do that.

16. Especially because you’ll probably find that you’ve spread your things all over the house too.

17. And you’ll wonder how all that stuff used to fit in your bedroom in your old shared place.

Those fairy lights aren’t really working there (Picture: Kevin Kozicki)

18. Have a housewarming and show off your new place.

The mates who buy you kitchen bits and flowers are keepers.

The ones who break your brand new wine glasses probably aren’t.

19. Also have a dinner party when you finally buy a dining table and pretend that now you are a real grown-up.

20. You will squabble in the kitchen and bicker over what to serve, but that’s fine.

21. Because now you can walk round your flat naked and have sex with your housemate.

And it’s awesome.

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